Thursday, May 12, 2011

Human Again

So, I had my cyborg parts removed on May 3. It was oddly sudden. I had spoken to the administrative assistant of Dr. Awesome (my neurosurgeon), and she said that he could see me on June 29 and we could start planning the surgery afterward. I e-mailed Dr. Awesome that Friday and he was like "I'm so glad you e-mailed. We can do the surgery on Tuesday if you'd like." Sweet . These things?

Not a part of me anymore. The recovery from surgery was my best-ever. The surgery was at 1pm, and I was ready to leave at 7pm when my awesome friends came to pick me up. We hung out at my apartment afterward with some pizza and wine. Best surgery day ever.

Despite some early promise, the cyborg parts just weren't able to help me the way I had hoped they could. I discovered around Christmas that my underlying pain was getting worse and worse whenever the stimulator was on, even as it was masking pain (up to about a 5 on the pain scale) in the meantime. I stopped using the spinal stimulator after that, but my pain continued to be fairly out of control. My adorable programmer tried several new programs, but all of them were causing additional pain when they were on. My hope was that the sharp increase in pain over the last 7 months was due to the presence of my cyborg parts, rather than to some permanent side-effect of their presence.

So far, there's no indication that the surgery is helping my ankle pain, but I'm still glad to be 100% human again. The pulse generator in my hip was a nuisance (it would get caught on the back of my cooking stool whenever I stood up, and I would snag it with my hand when tucking in my shirt...) and I love having it gone. If it couldn't help anymore, there was no reason to leave it there.

In the meantime, things remain fairly shitty. I can't work anymore. I can't drive more than a couple miles without adding some serious bonus pain. I can seldom leave my apartment (about once every 2 weeks seems to be my limit in terms of the amount of pain I can handle gracefully). I went to a super-fun Scotch-pairing dinner down the street last night, and my ankles are making me pay for it today. (I went in my wheelchair, so it's not as if I did anything crazy like walking or standing... It's fairly exasperating at this point.) I'll be starting with a new pain clinic soon (one where Dr. Ass-face is not the head of the department), and I figure there's about a 1% chance that we can find something to improve my situation. Trying to keep hope alive, but that's not always so easy at this point.

I'll be back in the kitchen this weekend with some Chemistry Adventures and a modified Thomas Keller recipe... Should be good times...

No comments: